255. The Hard Work {LC's Journey 35}

Thank you for continuing on this journey with me. This is the hard part. This was my. Deep work. On my journey. My lessons come through relationships, obviously, especially having had that last relationship, but also of having had that first marriage. That I forget about because it's, it's so distant from where I am now. My lessons come through relationships for me. Through romantic partnerships or trying to be that. I met the guy in Colorado. Right. Remember met the guy in Colorado. And he was going to be in Pennsylvania. For the whole month of August. No, I was going to be in Minnesota for the whole month of August and I wasn't going to leave. Early. Too. Visit him or anything. But he stayed late. He stayed through labor day. So. Aye. Stopped for about an hour and a half and saw a friend in Chicago. And then I stayed overnight in a hotel and Ohio. And then I drove all the way to a tiny little place near Scranton. And visited the guy again, and we had a great time. However, let's talk about. How I felt about this in the meantime. I actually have a journal entry on. 7 31. there's so much coming up with the guy that I almost never want to see him again. But I really, really do. There's so much sex energy. I try so hard to stay present. I feel myself slipping. Remembering. The glass of water. The door opening at 3:20 PM. And it's his sweet face to wake me up to go. Exactly. When I asked him to wake me up to go. The last thing he wanted me to do, but the only thing I really could do. I don't feel home. You know what it is with the guy, is there so much unknown and I'm projecting fears for sure. I need more information. In the meantime, Elsie come home And make it your priority to stay there. I was really anxious. Here's another one. Elsie just come home because when you're home home forms around you, so come home. Be home. Desire is a hell of a drug. Let things come to you, speak your truth and act in congruence. What's meant for you. You will have. What does it meant for you? You won't have, do not force things into place. That always leads to disappointment. Apply for what feels like home. This means. Come home. One thing that I did was yin yoga that helped my nervous system relax, because I was feeling so much anxiety and I knew that a lot of that anxiety was. Because of the way. Um, Here's a red flag. I was teaching this manifesting class. And the day one is coming home because you got to be home. If you want to manifest what you want. And then speak, what do you want? Five minute magic wand. So you set a timer for five minutes to pretend you have a magic wand, and then you write for five minutes. What that magic wand would manifest for you or would create. Yeah. And I said, interesting. I would wave that wand and the guy would be more communicative. I would be more communicative with him as well, more confident to express and state my needs, desires requests. And not worry or care if they're not received because I don't need him. I would feel much more at home in my body. And feel a very strong security in myself. I would be seeing my income increased to what I've stated. I am earning. And I would also be in surrender to myself and the flow of life. More like I was leaving Ogden and coming to Fort Collins. I would be at ease. I would be home. So I wouldn't worry or even think about where home is or how that's going to unfold. I would simply watch it happen. Do I feel closer now to what I want. I feel calmer and I feel like I know that I don't need the guy. I know what I desire, but I can separate desire from reality potential from action. And I don't feel as wary of expressing what I feel and desire. At least in this moment, coming back to this place before our conversation would be a benefit. Therefore I will, if I want to. That's a little bit of how I worked through some of that anxiety. I'm going to share one more journal entry From August 2nd, which is when I was in Minnesota. I got there at the end of July. It's kind of just all of these mind blowing thoughts that came out on the paper. I cannot wait to share more with you and I can't wait to hear from you. I'd love to hear your story. Life is a story and I want to hear yours. So contact me at Laura, christine.us. You can also support the show there. And until next time I'm sending all the love and then some more. We'll talk again.