266. Insights from Red Flags: Relationships {LC's Journey 42}

Thanks so much for being here to listen to some. Insights that I received from the red flags that I was observing. That is exactly what I was doing when I stopped for about a month in Minnesota. In August of 2022. I was making observations. I was making observations about this. Guy I had met and started hanging out with, The first observation is that I wanted to explore more because I didn't feel like I had enough information and I had previously learned. Pretty recently from my therapist. That. Quote-unquote dating is gathering information. The second observation I had was that it didn't feel wrong. Like nothing about. Hanging out with him and getting to know him. Felt. Wrong. Or that it was taking from me in any way. Then I noticed a few things I didn't like, and here are the red flags. Now these red flags of course led me to be curious. Led to more curiosity. First one was substances. Is he dependent? He used a lot of substances and I. I wanted to know if he was dependent on them. Cause that's not gonna work for me. The second one is you have to. As though I wasn't really, even there when we were with others. And that was kind of strange because. He acted very differently when we were alone. Take note, how are people treating you? When they are with. Just you. And when they are with others, Because it will show you. Whether or not they're being. Truly authentic. When they're with you, if they treat you differently, when they're not. Um, the third one. It's his diet, his trash. I really. Appreciate someone who cares enough about their body on this earth. To treat. Their vessel as though it is. The sacred temple that it is. And then food is. The most important thing. And forth. He had no curiosity about me. And seemed quite self absorbed. So the questions were. Is he being cautious? Is he trying to avoid some heartache or something by not asking me about myself or. Not acting like. He's into me when we're with other people. Those were the questions, but those are pretty darn big red flags. And if you are experiencing that with anybody. Someone who's very self-absorbed and not curious about you at all. And someone who acts like you're not really there or acts completely different with you. When you're with others than when you're alone together. That doesn't make sense when you're. Just the two of you together. Really pay attention because. That's not healthy. And then I saw some positive things. About his personality. He's a hard worker and responsible he's positive. He seemed to be at the level consciously and seemed to be spiritual, but again, I needed more information. I said he plays music like a God. And we had such musical chemistry as well. I think. This is not to. Discount my own talent. However, I think. His level of talent. Would have made it seem as though he has good musical chemistry with literally anyone. But. How many enticing is that? As a musician myself, it's very enticing. the last one is that he stubborn, but he also respects my desires when I'm from. However, it's kind of like, okay. But that could be a pretty, pretty red flag too, because, How firm do I need to be? What I chose to do was go for a second date. I called Colorado the first state and Pennsylvania. The second date. What I wrote in my journal is this I'll go in. Curiously and openly. And I won't let my mind keep me from diving into the depth of experience. I will observe myself. And align with my own integrity. That is. Very challenging to do in the throws of. Attraction, but it's very important to do, to stay aligned with yourself and stay home in yourself. So you can really. See, what's actually happening and take things at face value rather than. Sugarcoat. And see things Only through the rose colored lens. And to notice whether or not you are losing yourself. In your fantasies of what could be or what you want this to be. And take it at face value. It's so important. And it's so hard because hormones have. A lot of control. A lot of power over us. So be gentle with yourself. If you're in a new relationship. Or even if you're in one, that's been a while, but your hormones are still just. Kind of taking over or have taken over, be gentle with yourself, but pay attention because you really are worthy of having the kind of love that you give the kind of love that you deserve. And that is the kind that makes you feel free. Go to Laura, Christina, us. If you'd like to contribute to the show at all. By letting me know your thoughts. You can book yourself a session with me there. You can also support the show in any way that feels right to you. I am beyond grateful for all of you for being here with me on this journey back home to self. Until next time I'm sending all the love and then somewhere. We'll talk again.