242. Breaking Relationship Patterns {with Sandi}

So here's a question for you to like bring to the table so then after him The next relationship was Narcissist,

hmm. Mm

and blocked him on all avenues, and he still kept, like, sending gifts, and like, just trying to find any avenue to get in, and that, knock on wood, he'll probably figure out a way to do some shit. Oh, but it's all right, man. It's cool. I got it. I'm good for myself. I'm home.

hmm.

And, this new fella that I'm hanging with, you know, light, keeping it light. cause I gave myself, it was 10 months of peace by myself and getting my strength. I was like, Oh, hey, maybe I'm ready. And then it's like, Oh my gosh. So the first month is good. Second month is. Good ish. And now we're entering the third and it's like, Oh, yup, red flags are just flying all over the place. And I'm like, this is not what I want. This is not what I deserve. This is bullshit.

hmm. Mm

Now, we talked today on the phone and the conversation was just so empty, you know? It was very one sided both ways. so I was like, yep. It's all about you, man. It's all about you. I hung up on him the other night or not, I just ended the conversation. So talk today. And he says to. I've talked about myself enough, I want to hear about you, I want to hear about you and what's going on in your life, you know, what's happening, and I'm just still like, okay, nice cover, buddy, like, not buying into it now,

exactly. Exactly. he is like most... Most people I find more interested in what he can get from you than what you can create together, how you can expand together, because it's not about just giving either. Like, I don't want to just give in a relationship. I want there to be a mutuality about it. I want there to be a, I am expanding because I'm with you and you're expanding because we're together too. And

dude, that's it.

it's not about give and take, it's about being and evolving

Yes.

as humans as being.

Yes! Mm.

So now once we've really been through these kinds of relationships, same thing for me, I experienced men who were much healthier and not narcissistic. But, also not right for me, also not mutually giving, receiving, expanding, they were takers. And, um, it's interesting how much more quickly we recognize that and then we are able to shift out of it. We're able to get out of a situation before we get into deep because we know what it's like to be that deep in and we, I'm not doing that again.

Mm.

Absolutely not. But we still learn our lessons. There's still always lessons to learn.

Oh, yeah. I found, um, from a recent dude, he knocked over my whole altar the other night, or couple, last month.

Mm.

And I was picking up the floor, and I found these two, fortune cookie fortunes? I'm like, Oh, how fitting. Yeah. And I will read them

hmm.

mistakes show us what we need to learn

Mm hmm.

the other one was your success will astonish everyone. And then the funniest thing today, I'll see, is I picked the word for myself today. In the word jar, and it was astonish.

Yeah, that's right there.

was just like, I'm home. I'm unstuck.

can you pick a word for the 100 ways community? I think that we have had such a beautiful conversation that needs to get out there. And I honestly think this is why we did this.

I love you.

This is what we were meant to talk about. Yes, the magic of Colorado, but really the magic of being home in oneself. And I've said this before. I thought I was going to move to Colorado. And I said, Colorado felt like a party and it just turns out though, it turns out though that Vermont felt like home and it does still feel like home. And this is just where I am and the things that have unfolded. So duh.

I love that you're there.

What's the word?

I'm picking a word from four one hundred ways understand.

Oh, that's perfect. If you're trying to make someone else understand, stop. Just understand that all it takes is to come home and yourself and then you're free. And that person, it is,

Exactly. And that's it.

You have to understand you and that's it.

I love the whole... What that means too is what are you standing under? What's your foundation? What's your grounding point? Like, if you don't have it inside of you, you You can't, and then you can flow at the duh, under understand

Yep.

underneath you that you stand upon this beautiful earth it is. What it is, it's hard and it's beautiful and it's gorgeous and it can be light, it can be hard and all of it creates who we are and you're standing upon it and it goes out to everyone. And so once you understand, you can flow. Mwah. Thank you,

Thank you, Sandy.

I love you. I'll see you. Thank you.

I love you too.

I can't

So good to see

there.

Oh, come to Vermont. Oh

love it out there. It's soft. It's beautiful. There's moss, and there's ferns, and there's water, and there's ra Oh, gosh, girl, when I was out there, I frickin went to the hottest land and just was kiss I was kissin trees and kissin the ground, and just like, BLEH! Ha ha, lean all up in it. Hmm? No!

They are very old and the mountains are soft. It doesn't mean your life is cushed necessarily.

ground is fertile.

But it's fertile. ground, and it's,

You can grow shit.

there's, yes, you can definitely, oh my food, oh, the food here, and it's, it's just, there is a magic, there's a magic everywhere, and you'll just keep following that magic. When you feel that magic, listen to it.

Yes. It's subtle.

It is, but it's there.

And that was Sandy. And Fort Collins, Colorado. And one of my dearest friends of long time now. And the strongest message we. I love you to hear is. It is a process. To undo patterns. To relearn patterns to create new patterns. So be gentle with yourself, recognize where you are repeating patterns. And also recognize and celebrate where you have a new pattern. Let yourself. Revel in the new. In the different, so you can recognize where you were and where you are now. If you have any questions or thoughts or need someone to talk to. Contact me at Laura, christine.us/contact. You can go to buy me a coffee.com/ 1 0, 0 ways to book yourself a session with me or support the show in any way. You'd like. And until next time we are sending all the love and then some more. We'll talk tomorrow. About courage.