223. How to Have Good Friends

This is another journal entry and I haven't really pre-read. It just sort of saw the theme. So we're going to go with it. I have a feeling that I'm going to have a friends theme going on for a little bit. So let's start this way. This is how to be a good friend or how to have good friends. Be loving. Be a genuine loving person. You will be welcomed wherever you go. You will be welcomed in places you didn't even know. Like Utah. It's a help to be loving. How. Be truthful, give real compliments, listen, and really hear. Be conscientious. I think that's the main thing. Consider the impact, your words and actions Have on the other person. And seek to have as little impact as possible, but where there must be impact, see that it is positive. I see as little impact as possible because we all want freedom. If I cause a mess or even rearrange someone's kitchen, they have to do work. They have to do something because of you that they normally wouldn't have to do. If you cause a mess. Clean it. Let's work at this in relationships. You think you're helping your partner by seeing what he should do to be better. This is not helpful. You want him to be different? And the only way to do that is to do different things. So that you are happier. Or so you think the problem is now you've created a situation where you're depending on him to act these ways and he's depending on you to tell him how to act. No one is happy in that situation. There is pretend happiness, but not true happiness. If your partner wants advice, that's a different energy. Then you're sharing as welcomed requested, you can ask to. This is mutually expanding. Telling someone what to do to expand diminishes both of you. My best advice, stop trying to make anyone else change. Come home to yourself. Get clear about your own needs and desires. let them be known to all parties in question. And let them respond. Then from that place of actual knowing act, according to your needs and wants. And then he questions. Any questions. That's how we get good friends. We be who we are. That's how we get a good partner. We be who we are. Olivera and I talked about this. Relationships don't take work. They take being yourself. Being yourself takes work until it doesn't anymore. Yeah. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd love to know where you're at with this. Go to buy me a coffee.com/ 1 0, 0 ways to support the show or book yourself a session. Online or in person and Bennington, if you're here. And until next time I am sending all the love and then some more. We'll talk tomorrow